【2011 Archives】

011 ArchivesYoung Pope, the already-weird-sounding television show that turned out to be a tad more bizarre than initial speculation, finally premiered on HBO on Sunday.

Jude Law, partially just by nature of being Jude Law, comes off like a dude in a romantic comedy trying to convince a girl that he's bad news. And that's sort of what an American orphan named Lenny, who goes on to become Pius XIII at an age that is certainly not old by pope standards, is doing to the Catholic church and even God himself.

Pope Pius XIII, simply, is not here to make friends. Here are his sassiest moments from the series premiere.

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SEE ALSO: We made the Young Pope an online dating profile just in case

1. Declining the sweet breakfast spread at the Vatican.

After a series of bizarre dreams, the pope finds a variety of pastries, eggs, fruit and whatever else a new pope of any age might need to jump start his papacy waiting for him. Except, of course, Cherry Coke Zero. He rejects everything.

Via Giphy

"Ooh, let's not utter heresies, Domen," Lenny fires back when presented with the option of a regular Diet Coke. "It's death to settle for things in life." Dude, chill.

2. He has no time to pretend to be friends with Sister Bice.

Look, Sister Bice might have been good enough to cook for the three previous popes, but those were old popes. And as the saying goes, out with the old, in with the young.

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"Friendly relationships are dangerous. They lend themselves to ambiguities, misunderstandings and they always end badly." Way harsh, pope!

3. Putting off a meeting so he can drink his damn Cherry Coke Zero.

4. "I don't have any sins to confess."

Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable

The pope rolls through his first confession as the Holy Father to brag that actually, he's perfect and doesn't need to atone for anything. Sure, dude, whatever. We're all sinners — that's just Catholicism 101. You're special, but you're not thatspecial.

5. The Hat

Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable

6. lol @ Rome

Sister Mary, played by Diane Keaton, recalls a description of Rome as, "a suburb of Vatican City.

"Well, that's not exactly true," laughs Lenny, "but it will be."

7. Making Cardinal Voiello fetch his coffee as a power move.

8. Closing his eyes in the middle of a meeting with Cardinal Voiello

When asked if he fell asleep, YP replies, "No, Your Eminence. I'm praying. For you."

9. "There's a new pope now."

Via Giphy

John Paul II decided that you can't smoke in the Vatican, because that's the sort of rule popes are allowed to make — and break. And Pius XIII does what he wants.

10. Confessing that he doesn't believe in God just to f*ck around.

Nice one, pope!

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