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The Jelena Jensen ArchivesU.S. Consumer Product Safety Commissionis weird.

Well, not in general. The CPSC, the U.S. government agency that researches product safety and educates the public, does important work.

However, the agency’s social media presenceis very weird.

Case in point, the CPSC’s 2020 firework safetyvideo, dropping just in time for the Fourth of July. If you’re looking to get general firework safety tips while also watching a bunch of mannequins getting their heads blown up, then this video is for you.

Sure, the CPSC proves some great tips in the video. “Make sure fireworks are legal in your area.” Sure, it has to say that! The CPSC is a government agency after all.

“Don’t let kids play with fireworks.” Obviously, but maybe not for everyone. “Don’t hold and ignite aerial fireworks, never stand over fireworks, never make your own fireworks.” Done, done, and done. Those are all dangerous and make tons of sense. But, I guess you’d never expect the government to make a video telling you all that while also blowing up a watermelon as if someone took Gallagher’s mallet and handed him some explosive.

It’s not just the video either. We’ve previously coveredhow weird the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission is on Twitter. The agency is still at it.

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What in the world? Narwhal Firework Safety Tips For Humans? How would a narwhal even know what fireworks are? How much mid-2010s Reddit did the person who created this thing consume?

My one critique for the CPSC is… your fireworks video is late this year. Maybe at any other period in time dropping this video a few days before Independence Day would’ve made sense. But, the U.S. has been experiencing a deluge of fireworksgoing off all across the country every night for around two months now. The CPSC could’ve got way more mileage out of this one if they had uploaded it weeks ago.

Anyway, happy Fourth of July!

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